Thursday, June 24, 2010

Tutti Frutti

Upon observation of the natural fruit kingdom (in broad terms, a fruit is a structure of a plant that contains its seeds and is edible in its raw state), there are certain fruits that are not good for on-the-go consumption. Some fruits look silly when eaten like an apple.


These include:


  1. A pineapple (Ananas comosus); it looks weird growing on the ground, in the center of a bush, and being eaten as a whole. Also, did you know the natural pollinator of the pineapple is a hummingbird? That's a bucket of wtf. Anyway, pineapple is probably best served warm with meat dishes and a Maraschino cherry....according to Wikipedia. 
  2. Tomatoes (Solanum lycopersicum), this one looks normal at first because it's actually similarly shaped and colored to an apple, but then people do a double take and say...."hurm, now what's going on her missy?" They are also a little too juicy to eat in the hand, seriously, driptastic. Did you know that they were Thomas Jefferson's favorite fruit? Yes, I said fruit, it is technically a fruit. Same goes for tomatillos.
  3. Guavas, Pomelo, Honeydew, Watermelon, and any number of Melon related fruits (Cucurbitaceae family); listen fruits....you're just huge. You should be shared in a fruit salad or over a red-checkered blanket during a picnic. You do however have large quantities of vitamins A and C, Omega 3 and 6 polyunsaturated fatty acids, and high levels of dietary fibers, so I guess it's pretty worth it for the awkward eater.
  4. Coconuts (Cocos nucifera); If I have to open you with a machete or a machine, I should not eat you in public. Likewise, if I can use you as a bowl or as a cup for my tropical drink, you are first a bowl, second a fruit. 'nuff said.
  5. Lemons, limes, grapefruits (genus Citrus) ; Go ahead, bite it. Enjoy the pulpy, pippy, waxy, protective rind. I actually suck lemon wedges whole often, much to the chagrin of my enamel. However, I have never once bitten into a lemon, but now I am tempted. At least so I could be the first of my friends...
Knowledge is Power,

Keren Rhymes w/ Heron

1 comments:

Leah, wife of Jacob said...

Actually, K, I've bitten into a lemon. Sorry... It happened after the first time I ate a kumquat. It's natural after that to think... hmmm, I wonder if I can eat other fruits' skins.