Monday, June 7, 2010

Another Introduction, Moving to AZ.

Y'all met Emilene. She is apparently funny, and hates small talk. I, on the other hand, love small talk. So much so that I decided to introduce a man named Juice. This picture is of him when he was in Guatemala, suffering from severe food poisoning. If I remember correctly from what the picture-taker said, this photo was taken minutes after Juice evacuated the rest of his digestive system by all pathways for the last time before he felt well enough to slaughter the cow in the background and get sick again from eating that.

From time to time I will be referring to Juice in personal anecdotes, both fictional and nonfictional, so I figured I better introduce him now. I give my readers license to assume whatever they will about Juice and me... perhaps we are bf-gf. Or maybe we're ltbf-ltgf. Or maybe he's just my sex pot who does whatever I tell him to. I shrug my shoulders and smile at you, reader.

Also... I almost did not put up the picture of him in guatemala, because it makes him seem really interesting and adventurous. On paper, he does appear this way. He's traveled all over the Middle East, including Afghanistan where he and the Picture-Taker narrowly escaped being kidnapped. I guess it wasn't that narrow. They witnessed a man on the street outside the hostel where they stayed being dragged into a van.

Again, this makes him seem cultured. He is not! Firstly, he is a miser. By miser I really mean misanthrope. He hates people. The motivations behind his adventures all relate to his enormous ego, the Picture-Taker's rusing, and Juice's inability to not take a bet.

I was going to go on in this post about yesterday's fiasco at Juice's dad's birthday party, but perhaps that is bordering on not small talk, and I opened the post saying that I would stick to an introduction.

Oh yeah... I'm moving to Arizona soon because Juice is moving there, and I'm the kind of girl who follows Juice anywhere. My biggest question: What are the latest fashions in AZ? I googled "what to wear in arizona" and 9 out of every 10 results dealt with wedding dresses in Arizona... I don't know what that's about!


KO said...

Things that are fashionable in Arizona == things that will not make you die of heat stroke in Arizona. Cotton, dresses, baby powder.

KO said...

Also, gringo masks.