Thursday, April 23, 2009

"Under there!"--"Under where?"--"Hahaha..underwear!"


Last night I took one of the most necessary and most un-fun showers ever. Since I only take showers when I do laundry and I don't do laundry very often, you can imagine the manifold ways in which the shower was necessary.

So here is how this experience went down:

Ten long hours in the library in my special place that I always go to. That place, however, was hotter than ever. There was a maintenance guy brought in toward the end of my stay in the reading room who fixed the vent.

I trudged home, hanging my head. I passed one of my best friends and grumbled as I continued to walk by. (I felt bad when I hit the end of the block and realized I just blew her off.)

Upon returning home, I saw the shirts pants panties bras belts sweaters skirts dresses socks gloves hats mittens shorts and other sundry articles of clothing drooping around my room. I decided to get nude and do all my laundry (in one load, because I couldn't find any more than six quarters, and I only had $1.61 on my GWorld.)

So there I stood: Nude. Well, nude is relative.**

I hauled my laundry downstairs to the laundry room, and shoved it in the washer. Then I came back upstairs, showered for 30 of the 38 minutes laundry takes to wash.

Then, still Relatively Nude, I went back downstairs to put my wash in the dryer.

I then proceeded to go crazy for all 60 of the 60 minutes it takes to dry clothes, during which Keren and I discussed Granny Panties, pronouncing it "Granny Pannies." And then I picked up my laundry, and brought it back. (I guess I also folded it and put it away.)

End.

** So this post is really about what it means to be Relatively Nude:

Why, dear friends--dear women, do we keep those panties that we hate? The panties that are HUGE. The panties that are possibly holey and non-elastic where they used to be elastic? These panties are possibly flowered, or just plain cotton white, or some shade of white, or some have dots on them, or holiday print!

These panties are the ugliest panties that we own, and we never wear them unless we are washing ALL of our other underwear. Sometimes we even go commando when these panties are the only ones left in the bureau. A friend of mine sometimes even digs out not-so-dirty underwear and wears those panties when the "Granny Pannies" are alone next to our multitudes of unworn socks.

It's not like we MUST bring everything we own to college with us? We have an entirely good place to keep panties like these in our parents' homes, such as our dressers there. But we DO bring them. We CAN'T throw them out. I can't throw them out. Why????

O-curse the Immortality of the Granny Pannies!

Outtie, boo!

Leah, wife of Jacob

Keren, Rhymes w/ Heron

Peace!

5 comments:

Radstronomical said...

I dunno. I kind of like wearing granny pannies.

Jason said...

Leah,

The new blog layout looks great! I'm super impressed. Also, I saw Vanessa last night. I mentioned that I read DAWTD and she told me I should post a comment. Also one of my friends pointed at Vanessa when she walked away and asked, "So you know The Actress?" That was what she called her, "The Actress", capital T, capital A.

Leah, wife of Jacob said...

Thanks, Jason! I'm glad to know people read this. I will forward the anecdote to Vanessa, because I'm not sure she reads the blog. haha.

Sasha said...

I have this one pair that's way too big on me and obnoxiously pink.

Another pair is black with lace, but the lace is all ripped.

Ahhh... I may throw them out before I return to Florida, I just may. BUT I've had them forever :[

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