Nonsensical Opposites, Synonyms, and then at the end an Analogy or Two

Running<-->Smoking (weed)

Literacy<-->Being in a Relationship

Baldness<-->Having a Green Thumb

African Elephant<-->A Pear

Vegetarianism<-->Test Tube Babies

Egyptian Sexual Prowess<-->A Line of Executive Desk Toys

Getting the Goosebumps<-->A 60 Watt Light Bulb

Lumberjacks<-->Prize Winning Orchids

Facial Hair<-->All Saints (in radiating flames of glory)

A Deficiency<-syn.->Constipation

Brown vs. the Board of Education<-syn.->The Colossus of Rhodes

Craving Chocolate<-->Flesh Eating Bacteria

Judith Plotz volunteered these three:

JP1. Reaching Puberty<-syn.->Marriage

JP2. Jealousy<-syn.->Incestuousness

JP3. Mother<-syn.->Magical Tree

Feminine Hands<-->Penis

Masculine Hands<-->The Aristocracy

Macromastic<-->Filigree

Going to Prom<-->Being Loved (verily)

Judith Plotz is to Mother Goose as Peaches is to Sex Goose

(the defining sentence being JP teaches as a MG as P teaches as a SG)

Just a Note: We love love love Judith Plotz. She may or may not know we exist though... at least, she probably knows Keren, but I'm pretty sure she doesn't know me. We love her though.

-LWoJ and KRwH