Monday, November 10, 2008

The Love Song of Olga and Manny by T.S. Eliot


Some things I've learned about DC in the four years I've been here include

1) there are a lot of gay men who are very attractive and seemingly straight, and
2) there isn't a good pizza place that delivers to campus (with possibly the exception of Cappucino's, but I swear the last time the pizza-maker was on acid because my pizza was shaped like an ameoba and all the toppings were on one slice).

So... I feel like there is a correlation here. And my roommate (hey ya! to the K.V.) enlightened me last night, and I quote: "Waiting for a pizza from Manny and Olga's is like waiting for a boy to call."

The more I thought about it, the more truth I found in this Wilde-like observation. Let's examine.

About waiting for a pizza: About waiting for a boy to call:

1) the idolization of your phone...

it sits on the table in front of you or on the window sill or in your hand while standing near a window... because we all know that the closer your phone is to the sky, the better service you get.

lack of service will not be the reason this all-important phone call is not received!

2) all-consuming hunger...

however... waiting for pizza, waiting for boy gives you reason not to eat anything at all... not even to tie you over.

2) thoughts of the other's infidelity...

how many people could he/pizza place possibly be servicing? are they delivering to someone else instead and forgot about you? should you call?? make sure that the delivery is on its way??

3) stress of the situation results in eating before the meal...

when it finally arrives, you already feel fat.

4) feelings of guilt and low self-esteem...

when you eat it anyway, you feel guilty, and the question becomes:
will you order from there again?

all your friends say no, but they're alway open late! and it's pretty cheap for DC prices!

As a result of the examination:

Pizza, like sex and love, cannot easily be consumed. Pizza, like sex and love, cannot be satisfyingly consumed without a long wait and a long drink.

Basically, Manny and Olga's is only good if you want pizza because it's been a while, not because you really want to enjoy a delicious slice of the pie.

Cura ut valeatis,

Leah, wife of Jacob

5 comments:

Diego Garcia said...

I would just skip the whole thing and go to Jumbo Pizza. That place is more like achieving the American dream than waiting for a boy (or maybe for my sake we'll go with girl?) to call.

Alexa said...

True story.

Loren said...

Two words: Cafe Romeo's. The most romantic/delicious pizza in DC.

Ker Splatt said...

Dairy farmers everywhere are thus, correct when they tell us to, "Behold the power of cheese"

So sexual. So sensual. So all encompassing. So melty and jaundice-colored.

Waiting for a pizza without cheese is like waiting for a boy without a chromosome.

ecce potestas casei!
-KV

Ker Splatt said...

Also, let's talk about the similarities between the cold pizza the morning after and your boy-toy the morning after.

Analogous?