Thursday, October 16, 2008

Call for Roommate Gossip!

I have a great deal of experience with roommates. I will briefly enumerate a few of my roommate credentials:

First, I lived in a teeny house with two siblings until the age of three. And then we moved into a bigger house. But still, I had those three fabulous years of having a cradle in my room and a big brother with scary friends (who had bad gas) just across the hall at the top of the stairs.

Secondly, my freshman year I virtually moved in with my freshman boyfriend and his knife-throwing roommate with German heritage... it's turned me off to living with men... and really to associating myself with anyone who does live with men. I guess I really have no experience in dealing with men successfully, however, the purpose of this call for roommate problems/gossip is not so that I can give advice. (Real point follows momentarily)

Thirdly, a certain roommate who I will remained unnamed (and whose initials are A.B. and who comes from a not-so-foreign foreign country before she moved to NYC and now goes to Styveusent Town Dental to get her teeth cleaned) was a big problem, and I loved talking about her and all the drama she created.

Fourthly, the current situation, which I can't talk about except in vague, ambiguous generalities.

SO: I am calling for anyone who reads this (and I'm pretty sure I know everyone who reads this... and I think it's just Diego and a couple other of my stalkers... hey, stalkers! I know who you are. I stalk too!), Again: anyone who reads this, send me your roommate gossip! Send me your problems!

I won't guide you on how to deal with it, but I will post it on the blog.

I will post the problem (anonymously or un-anonymously) right here on "Ducks and What They Do" so that you may have a release and so that everyone, mainly me, can have some entertainment.





Anonymous said...

How's this for gossip. My roommate creeps the SHIT out of me and talks/screams/cries/punches and even flirts with me in her sleep. She also tried to jump my man's bones... his ratbones...

-He Who Must Not Be Named

Anonymous said...

One time Emily Murphy had sex in my bed.

jarebear said...

onetime i had a roommate who was so mal-hygenic that my other roommates and i made a bet to see how long he would go without toilet paper before he finally bought some. (I had pretty much moved out, and the other roommates had their own bathroom.)

21 days.
He went 21 days without any toilet paper. Once he grabbed napkins from J-Street and brought them to use. Once i saw a some paper towels in there, too. But no toilet paper for 3 weeks.